Friday, December 7, 2012

Courting and Christianity

Hello sisters today I wanted to write about something that most people view as a thing of the past: Courtship.  But no it hasn't disappeared, and many Christians still practice it. Courting is young men and women seeking each other out, under their parents supervision, in hopes of finding a spouse. Christian courting is the same, except, finding a spouse in the will of God. So what is the difference between courting and dating? 
Courtship
. There is always a chaperon  present on outings: A parent or guardian is always present on outings, why? Because being alone with someone you are attracted to about can be a very tempting environment. God made attraction and He made it a very powerful thing, so having a parent along can ensure that nothing sinful will or could happen.  
.There is no physical touching: This is basically the first one, any form of physical touching can lead to sinful thoughts and temptation.  
. It is more family based: The whole family is involved in courting, the family all should spend time with the courting couple on each sides, they should approve of the man/women, and also see how family oriented the male/female is. A good sign that a person would be a good spouse is if he or she has good relationships with their family.  
.Gentleman must ask Father permission to see the girl: This is simply a sign of respect for the Father and the girl. And a way for the Father to make sure he approves of the man coming to call. 
.The male that is asking is required to be a Christian: The Lord doesn't want us to be unequally yoked with none-believers never assume that someone will convert simply because they are seeing you.

victorian-courtship2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

.Finding someone who has the same morals: Simply because someone is a Christian doesn't mean there going to share your beliefs, it's important to find someone that share's a majority of your beliefs, especially the important ones or one's that are dear to your heart. ( it is unlikely you'll fin someone that agree's with all your convictions)

Dating
. One on one: In worldly dating, the couple is usually one on one, alone. This can cause for a tempting environment even for the strongest of Christians. 
.Not as family based: As in the first bullet point it is usually one on one and the couple spends some but little time with the family.
.Dating is viewed as "just for fun": In courting it is all about finding someone God has planned for you, in dating many people view it as just for fun, and go out with many different people, which is certainly not what the Lord planned.
.Physical touching: In dating kissing is allowed, holding hands ect. Please refer back to "no physical touching" in courtship section.
.Man doesn't ask permission: In dating the man usually asks the girl before asking the Father, this is disrespectful as the Father is the head of his daughters, and should be allowed to approve of the man coming to call first, as girls and guys can be "blinded by love" and not see red flags a father would be able to pick out in a minute. 

My Courtship List:
1. Must be a Christian
2.Must share majority of my beliefs 
3. Must share most of my beliefs on how to raise children (Home schooled, involved in church ect.)
4. Must respect my family.
5.Must follow the Bible's teachings
6. Must love and respect and pray to our Father Jesus Christ.  

If a man follows the Bible as a strong Christian there shouldn't be many other things to put on the list as this should cover it. God bless sister I hope you enjoyed this article. 

"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." (Prov. 18:22)

"Neither shalt thou make marriages with them (that is, the nations); thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son...n (Deut. 7:3)

 "For this cause shall a man leave Father and mother, and shall cleave to a wife..." ~Matt. 19:5) 

6 comments:

Mrs Sarah Coller said...

This is a great article! My husband and I first started dating in high school when we were 16. He was a strong Christian and I was not---no one held us accountable and we found ourselves in situations that we shouldn't have been in. When we married, we didn't have very many of the strong convictions that we have now---homeschooling, no birth control, head-covering, man the head of the home, etc. We just weren't mature there and didn't have parental examples. However, what we DID have was a willingness to seek God for his plan and to compromise with one another to put the other one first. With a lot of communication and a lot of mess ups, we are now at a place where we share the same convictions and believe our marriage and family truly blesses God and models what he desires for a Christian couple in many ways. I'm so glad to see younger women thinking of these things now---before falling rapturously in love (ha!!!)---I sure hope my daughter will follow this example as well!

Blessings,
Mrs. Sarah Coller

Taylor Willett said...

@Mrs Sarah Coller I'm glad you liked it:) I've put alot of thought into the matter, and really wanted to share my thoughts with eveyone. God bless you too dear sister!

Renee Regnier said...

Just excellent!

Taylor Willett said...

@Renne Regnier I'm glad you liked it:) God bless sister!

Laura.lea said...

Such a good post! My only desire beyond what you have shared is that he loves Christ more than I do. When He does that, everything else will be easier. Pleasing the Lord and doing His will is easier when we lean firstly on Him, then on our mate.
Blessings to you, Taylor! Definitely following your blog!

Taylor Willett said...

@Laura.lea Thank you so much dear sister! I'm so glad you like the post and thank you for sharing your input.
God bless!